


I'm Ready

by awholenewlevelofcharming



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-20
Updated: 2014-05-20
Packaged: 2018-01-25 21:37:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1663331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awholenewlevelofcharming/pseuds/awholenewlevelofcharming
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis isn't ready to come out but Harry is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Ready

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't much. It's short and pretty shitty. But I'm bored and I felt the need to write.. So here's this and I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Also, I am currently writing a few fics that should be posted very soon! If you want to follow the progress or have any questions or just want to talk;
> 
> click [here](http://wemetinthetoilets.tumblr.com).

\-----*----

Harry's drunk. 

So drunk, in fact, that he's crying to Niall about _how much_ he's drunk - He's so drunk, it hurts to stand and walk and even talk. Everything hurts. 

Harry doesn't remember when this started to become a weekend thing. Niall and him would go out for pints, while Zayn, Liam and... _Louis_ would go out and do their own thing. 

Harry is drunk. 

Niall grabs Harry's wrists as he reaches for another shot and shouts something over the music. Harry doesn't realize he's moving again until the Earth starts to shake again, his eyes snapping up wildly, scanning the room. He's moving - Niall is pulling him away from the pub, Harry is about to protest, about to scream about how much he wants to _forget_ everything and get wasted, but suddenly the cold air hits him in the face. 

Harry recoils like he's been slapped, but takes a deep breath regardless, because his lungs appreciate the fresh air. The cold air wraps around Harry, tossles his hair and whips it around Harry's ears. Niall loosens his grip only a little, "I'm gettin'a cab for yeh." 

"I wanna go home," Harry cries, fat tears roll down his cheeks. "I wanna go home and forget everything."

"I know, mate," Niall grunts. "Yeh want m'to come over?" 

Harry shakes his head, eyes falling on the shorter bloke, blonde hair askew and cheeks swollen and pink. He's drunk aswell, but not nearly as much as Harry. "M'sorry I ruined your night." He hiccups and Niall shakes his head. "I didn't mean to, I -" 

"Yeh need me right now," Niall shrugs, his accent coming out rich and thick, Harry is kind of fascinated. "Just _call me_ when you get home, yah mate?"

"Okay." Harry nods. He climbs in the small cab, loose and awkward limbs hitting almost every surface in the small car before finally settling in one place. He watches as Niall tells the driver where Harry lives, and then gives him a small wave - A small smile of gratefulness. He wouldn't know what he would've done if he lost his best friend too.

Well. 

Harry lets out a shaky breath, bottom lip starting to tremble as the conversation from three months ago replay in his head. His hand clenches in a small fist, nails digging deep into his palm - He was _not_ going to cry in front of the driver. No way in hell. 

He clenches his jaw as he feels a wave of desperation hits him like a train. He looks out the window and notices everything is a blur, shapes and objects flying by him as the car moves in a hurry. 

He doesn't know when the constant night outs began, maybe after... _he_ left or a little while later but he's not entirely positive. 

_Louis_ ( God, it _hurts_ Harry to even say or think his _name_ without feeling shitty) broke up with Harry exactly two months and three days ago, not that Harry's keeping track (he totally is), because Louis was afraid and Harry wasn't. He lets his head hit the window with a small thud, replaying that conversation his head over and over again; 

_"Harry... I can't just... I'm not - I'm not ready to tell everyone yet... I just... I need more time."_

_Normally, Harry would nod and drop the subject, but tonight, Harry was determined. He was tired of hiding - Of course, everyone knew he was gay, but no one knew about Louis. About him and Louis. Tonight, however, Harry was furious. Furious and determined. "I've given you all the time you need!"_

_"I need more," Louis fusses. "Just. Let me figure some shit out, first -"_

_"You don't have to!" Harry's suddenly screaming, screaming so loud that Louis literally flinches back and stares at him wide eyed. "I love you and you love me, how hard is that to tell people?! Why are you so scared of people finding out - ?!"_

_"Because that's how it is, Haz - !"_

_"It doesn't have to be - !"_

_" **Yes it does, Harry.** " Louis rolls his eyes, annoyance written all over his face. Harry considers dropping it, considers sitting down and telling Louis that it's okay and he'll wait - But it's not. Harry is tired of waiting, tired of feeling like a secret. "You just don't get it."_

_"Then make me get," Harry pleads, his eyes are watery and bottom lip bitten raw. "What are you so afraid of?"_

_"Everything," Louis whispers, caving in on himself. "The lads don't know about me, they took forever to finally warm up to you... And - And... What if - I -"_

_"They'll get over it -"_

_"And my mum... She doesn't... She doesn't like people like us -"_

_"She loves you, Lou. She'll accept you.. She accepted me, yeah? She still loves me -"_

_"And people at school? Haz I - I'm sorry, I can't... Not yet, not with you -" Louis freezes, realizing what came out of his mouth._

_Harry flinches back, expression mixed between betrayal, anger and exhaustion. Their eyes snap to eachothers, one apologetic and one in disbelief. "Are... Are you ashamed of me?" Harry breathes out, voice breaking only slightly. "Are you ashamed to be with me?"_

_Louis grimances, "No love... No, no, that's not what I meant -" He pads over the carpet to Harry, who is sat up on the sofa, and places a hand on Harry's now, fists. "I just... I'm not ready... I don't want to make you wait anymore..."_

_Harry stares up at him, confused. Louis starts to pet his unruly curls and bites his lip, his oceanic blue eyes starting to water. They look filled with something - Something like regret. "I'm not ready for all of... For all of this."_

_"What are you trying to say?"_

_There's a long, long, dreadful pause before Louis finally cries out. "I can't do this anymore, Harry... Get out.. Get out. It's over. We're done.. Get out, please - I can't - I can't do this with you anymore -"_

"Oi," The drivers voice snaps Harry out of his drunken slur of thoughts, fresh new tears trailing down his cheeks. "This your stop, huh?"

Harry peeks out the window again and, thankfully, his flat is in walking distance. He nods and grumbles a weak thank you, ignoring the way the driver is giving him odd looks. He stumbles his way up the stairs, damn stupid stairs, and struggles with the keys for nearly five minutes before finally getting it into the lock. 

He stumbles his way to the sofa, immediately falling face first on it's soft material. He needed this, really. 

His flat isn't a big one, only one bedroom and one bathroom, but it's still enough for him. It's probably one of the cleanest homes ever, simply because Harry can't stand a mess. So when Harry feels something nudging the back of Harry's neck, he's a little surprised. 

But also very drunk. 

He turns his head to look and immediately wishes he didn't, because he's met with Louis' favorite stuffed animal, one he's kept since he was a child. He must of forgot it here a few months ago and Harry wonders briefly why it was there in the first place. 

Then again, it was probably because Harry had been laying here hours before, cuddled up in Louis' shit he left behind, crying his eyes out when Niall came in and told him to quit being a sad soppy sod and get off his arse. But here he is, again, cuddled up in Louis' things. 

Again. 

Harry looks at the stuff on his sofa, a teddy bear, a mug, three jumpers, one pair of sunglasses and two pairs of Louis' favorite candy bars - All forgotten from the messy boy. 

Louis must miss his stuff - And what kind of person would Harry be if he just held it hostage? How rude. 

He didn't know where his cell phone came from and he also doesn't know where the sudden confidence comes from, but the next thing he knows is, is that the phone is pressed to his ear. 

And okay. Harry freaks out for a minute, shaking his head and letting his breaths come out into short little pants. Why is he so _stupid_? He can't hang up now, because then Louis will _know_ Harry called and _oh my god, Harry, what have you done_ -

"Hullo?" 

Harry stops breathing. Eyes widening as he forgets what he even called him for, why he was such an idiot. His heart sinks as he realizes Louis had just woken up - Had Harry woken him? Oh no, he was too drunk for this. 

It's also kind of sad that Harry knows what every single voice of Louis' means. He suddenly breathes again, calming his nerves and pressing one of his fingernails in his palm, digging. He can do this. "Hi, um.." He doesn't think anything of the way Louis' breath hitches. "It's um, its, uh, me... Harry..." When Louis doesn't say anything, Harry squeezes his eyes shut tightly. How could he forget who Harry was? "Harry.. Harry Styles -"

"Harry," Louis finally breathes, and Harry can almost _hear_ Louis' eyes roll. "I know who this is.. It's just.. I'm surprised is all... Um.. How are you doing?"

No. He was not doing this. 

"I have some of your shit." And okay. Harry didn't mean for it to come out like that. "And uh.. And I was wondering if you wanted it back.."

Louis sounds confused, "M'sorry?"

"Your teddy bear... That's the most important - You can't sleep without him..." Harry stops himself, throat tightening and eyes filling with watery tears. "And uh, I was wondering if you wanted it - ?"

"You didn't answer my question." Is what Louis interupts Harry with, and Harry backtracks to remember what it even was. 

"How do you think I'm doing? I'm shit, okay?" Harry snaps and immediately wishes he didn't. Louis shifts a little on the other line, Harry can hear it, and doesn't say anything for a moment before, 

"Yeah, me too..."

Harry doesn't say anything, hears Louis' familiar breathing. Louis suddenly shifts again and mumbles an, "I miss you.."

Harry continues to be quiet, palm nearly bleeding from how hard he is drigging. "You didn't answer my question," Harry says unevenly, voice wavering. "I have your shit... Do you want it back or not?"

"Who's the new guy?" 

Harry huffs. Can he please? Confusedly and curious, Harry grunts. "What?"

"You're never this mean to me. Or at least, you never were. So, who's the new guy?"

"I don't - Louis..." Harry trails off, tracing patterns on the sofa, eyes intently staring at Louis' stuff in a neat pile in the corner. "There won't ever be a new guy... It's always going to be you."

They don't say anything for awhile and Harry shifts uncomfortably. He should've asked Louis who the new _girl_ was. Unless, he wants to break Harry's heart some more, and say he met another bloke instead of _him_. Harry was so wrapped in his head that he didn't realize Louis asked a question. "What?"

"I asked what the problem was then."

"Nothing, I just.. It hurts, you know? I didn't even realize I was calling you until you answered. I'm sobering up drunk and sad and saw your stuff and I just - I can't look at it anymore without feeling.. Without feeling like I - Without -" Harry doesn't realize he starts to cry until Louis shushes him.

"It's okay," Louis whispers quietly. "You can call me whenever you want.."

Harry only cries harder at that, because he doesn't _just_ want to be friends with Louis, he wants to be _more_. "Lou..."

Harry hears Louis sigh into the receiver, so he presses his forehead on the arm of the sofa and breathes. He needs to calm down. "I miss you."

"I miss you too, Harry..."

"A lot."

"Are you at home?"

"Yes, why?"

"Harry..."

"Yes, Lou?"

"I love you." Louis mumbles and Harry's about to say it back, about to promise Louis he'll wait for however long he needs, as long as Louis'll take him back - Whatever it takes. He just needs Louis back, but Louis says, "Can I come over?"

"It's three in the morning."

"I don't care."

"Okay." 

"Okay?"

"Yes.."

"Okay."

Harry's met with the dial tone and he wonders if he imagined that. He pulls the blanket off the back of the sofa and pushed Louis' things on the ground before settling down and cuddling up into the fuzziness of the blanket. He notices that Louis bought him this blanket, which only makes him cry harder and snuggle closer into it. 

Almost twenty minutes later, there's a soft knock on the door and Harry sits up immediately. He wipes at his cheeks and nibbles his bottom lip as he stands, cheering at the thought that he _didn't_ imagine it - That Louis is on the other side of the door. 

He opens the door quickly, ignoring any protests in the back of Harry's mind that tell him he shouldn't. His eyes trail up Louis' short stubby body, he's clad in khakis and an old teeshirt (Harry remembers) with his favorite black toms on. His golden brown skin is glistening with swear as if he ran up the stairs, brown hair askew from the wind. Lastly, Harry looks at Louis' eyes and he looks - well.. like shit. 

He looks exhausted and his eyes are red-rimmed with tears, cheeks and eyelids puffy from nights of crying and Harry watches as Louis seems to be doing the same thing - Studying how shitty Harry must look. 

It comes as a surprise really, when Harry is met with a bone crushing hug from the small boy, nuzzling his face in Louis' hair. It's still soft and smells like Louis' peach scented shampoo. "Hey..." Louis breathes into Harry's neck and Harry shivers only a little. 

Louis' voice sends shockwaves throughout Harry's body - It's so delicate and soft and _feminine_ , it's the most beautiful voice Harry's ever heard. "Hi.."

"I love you." Louis looks up at him, blue eyes fierce. "You hear me? I love you. And I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I need you, I'm so stupid - I can't believe how stupid I am -"

"Louis.." 

"I just. I need you. I need you, okay? I love you. I'm so bloody in love with you Haz, it's unreal. It's stupid. You're stupid - Why do you have to be so bloody amazing and gorgeous and the love of my life? I don't want to share you with anyone, I want you to be mine and mine only and I want to show you off to the world and let everyone know you're _mine_ , I love you so much, Harry. I'm ready. Okay? I'm ready. Take me back, please? I'm ready..."

Harry melts in Louis' embrace, breath hitching at Louis' little speech. He's so in love with the older lad in front of him, squeezing him around the middle tightly. "I love you more," he breathes. "I love you so much, Louis, of course I'll take you back."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"You sure?"

"I'm 100% positive, Louis. As long as you're ready."

"If it means I get to keep you by my side.... Then -" Louis hugs Harry impossibly tighter, tears making the side of Harry's neck wet. 

Harry pulls away enough to grab Louis' chin between his fingers and thumb, pulling him up so Louis has to stand on his toes, and places a small kiss on his lips. Louis melts in Harry's hands. 

"I'm ready."


End file.
